edward vs harry potter vs jacob black rap battle
by purple1guy
Summary: Rap battle - harry potter vs. Edward Cullen vs. Jacob black
1. Chapter 1

**Rap battle - harry potter vs. Edward Cullen vs. Jacob black**

**I don't harry potter or twilight**

****

**Edward Cullen**

_*sarcastic tone*_

Oh no! I'm so scared!

Please don't cast a spell on me,

I came unprepared!

Please don't hurt me with your gay little wand

_*end of sarcastic tone*_

Oh look! Here comes your boyfriend...Ron!

You got a scar on your head

Your parents are dead

You wear nerdy little glasses

And vampires kick nerd's asses!

Shut up and quit complaining!

You're so whiny!

I'm gonna screw you up just like I screwed Hermione!

Why don't you use a spell to give yourself a dick?

Then maybe you'd actually get girls!

But you better make it quick!

Cause I'm takin' them all

With my foot up your ass, I'm gonna make you scrawl!

**Harry Potter:**

Bloody hell!

What was that?

An epic fail!

That was absolutely horrible!

And by the way, my glasses are adorable!

More people dress as me when trick-or-treating!

I suggest you begin retreating

With one little word and a wave of my wand

I'll be whooping your ass like I was James Bonde

You can't battle against me! I'm the Chosen One

I'll whip my wand out and watch you run

You're just a pale white nerd

The only theatre you've ever been played in

Is the theatre of the absurd

You have little fangs

But you're still never gonna bang

I'm a freakin' soon-to-be Wizard

I could end you now with a spell of garlic blizzard!

**Edward Cullen:**

Too bad your actor takes pics that are nude

Don't you think J.K. Rowling found that kinda rude?

Glad my actor is more mature

I can trust him to keep my dick safe and secure

I'll shove your wand up your ass

Put you in a full body cast

Screw Hogwarts and magic!

Vampires is where it's at

Your movies are tragic!

Put on your invisible cloak

I'll still find you

I'll sink my fangs in your throat

You can't run

You can't hide

I'm a star worldwide!

You're a little porn star with a rape conviction

You can't defeat me because

I'm the mother f**king king of fiction!

**Harry Potter:**

Abra ca freakin' dabra!

Your actor died in the Tri Wizard Tournament if I'm not mistaken!

I'll burn you down with my magic and serve you up to Queen Elizabeth with a side of bacon!

The only reason you won't show off your body is because you don't have anything to show!

You've got no beauty anywhere from head to toe

I'd make fun of Twilight but I've never seen the movies or read the books!

All I know is Jacob Black whoops your ass!

Physically and with his good looks

That sounded so gay!

Edward, the point is

No one likes you, listen to what I say!

**Jacob Black:**

Shut up and have a seat, Potter

This rap battle just got a whole lot hotter

I'm in control now

I'm about to show you just how

Neither of you can compete

In my limousine of ladies, you two are welcome to sit in the ejection seat

You said you're the king of fiction, Edward?

Think again

I ruled the fictional world when I ripped off my shirt!

Because these muscles can't be contained!

I put the both of you into shame!

****

**I have nothing against twilight or harry potter I have read both books and think both are good**

**I also have nothing against the actors of these characters, I think they are all hot**

Tell me who won 

Edward Cullen

Harry potter

Jacob black

_Purple1guy  
>review please you know you want to<br>_


	2. Chapter 2

Just to let all of you know this isn't my story my friend found this on the internet and wanted me to make some mortifications to it and post it on fan fiction

This is not my main account either so don't say I just copy stuff and put it on fan fiction

My main account is 'purple1girl' it has mostly twilight stories

X.x.x.x

**So just to let you know this not my story so don't sue me**

Purple1guy: world!

World: yes, purple1guy?

Purple1guy: I have to tell you something

World: what is it purple1guy

Purple1guy: I…uh…

Internet guy: say it

Purple1guy: ugh. Fine! I don't own this rap battle, this rap battle and everything that goes with it belongs to the wonderful internet guy

World: *LE GASP*

Purple1guy: I know *LE SOB*

Internet guy: good girl

Purple1guy: mutter… mutter… growl…hiss…

Purple1guy: As you can see I don't own this rap battle, internet guy does *LE SOB AGAIN*

_Purple1guy_

_Review please you know you want to_


End file.
